Have you ever thought about parallel universes? I have one of those irrational fears that I'm sure everyone has. Everyone has that fear right? Just like the fear of heights I have.
Just think of everything that would be explained by the parallel universe:
You know that car that wasn't in the lane next to you before you went to switch?
How about ghosts? I don't believe in ghosts, but I bet if you thought you saw a ghost, it could be a person in a parallel universe, just right on the edge of both.
Ever see something out of the corner of your eye, then you turn and its gone?
Here's one for you, how about people with multiple personality disorders (wait, who said that?)? Crazy people, the voices they hear, couldn't they be someone on the edge of both?
Back to the personality disorders, what if each person is actually be from alternate or parallel universe just jumping around from one to another?
For a while now, I've had this really unreasonable fear that parallel universes will collide, at the wrong time. Mostly I think about it when I'm going through an intersection...imagine the calamity, the confusion if identical, parallel universes collided then. I'd be sitting there freaking out like a crazy person, saying that the light was green for me when it was clearly red with cars going through it. Of course the universes would immediately have gone back to their rightful places...
Ok, I don't really think about it all the time, but it does occur to me that it could happen..What a weirdo!
some science fiction books I read when I was in high school
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
If I were posting a personal ad...
Hello there!
I would describe myself as quirky, but not in a creepy/weird way. I tend to think of myself as pretty normal.
I like to do things outdoors and in, just depends on mood or weather. I like movies, but I prefer to be more social. I like to play most sports, I was recently in an outdoor volleyball league (as a first timer), played softball for the last two and a half summers, and am an avid basketball player (both league and pick-up ball). I like to run road races when I get a chance (I do the Butte to Butte here in Eugene every summer) , and will generally do anything I'm invited to do. I love to hike, and made several hikes of varying difficulty this last summer.
I'm not super big on video games, but I do have occasion to play (I get a real kick out of Guitar Hero and Rock Band). Not a car guy, but I do appreciate certain aspects of cars, sleek subtle
lines, power, performance, etc. I love to see car things live (I've volunteered at a couple of 'rally' style car races in the last 3 years).
I'm from the northwest, so I do fancy a good craft brew, and have been labeled as a snob. I've grown past the years of consuming just to consume (that is not to say that a night of tasting doesn't get extended...lol). I really like the complexity of the things I consume: chocolate, beer, coffee, sushi, wine...the list goes on.
I'm think I'm average looking (in a good way), as my attached picture should attest to. The stats? Before I forget, I'll drop that in. I'm 32, 6'1", 200lbs and have an average build. This is the most recent pic I could find that I like. It was taken this August in SFO, I was at a Giants game with my best bud.
I've been hesitant to date recently, and one reason is that I fear I'll be viewed as having no aspirations or maybe even motivation. In the last few months basically I turned my life upside-down. I quit a respectable job (pay-wise) I had in Beaverton and moved back here to
Eugene (Eugene being my hometown for the previous 23 years). Now I'm working a job that doesn't really look like much at this point. In Beaverton I was working far too much, not taking good care of myself, and not seeing my family enough. I decided to bounce it all to come back to Eugene and start over.
Whether its fortunate or unfortunate, I'm not motivated by money, I'd rather be happy. I've always thought though, that if someone wasn't interested in me because I wasn't interested in money, then so be it. I do get needing financial stability, don't get me wrong, I'm just walking a much thinner line than some folks are comfortable with.
I would describe myself as quirky, but not in a creepy/weird way. I tend to think of myself as pretty normal.
I like to do things outdoors and in, just depends on mood or weather. I like movies, but I prefer to be more social. I like to play most sports, I was recently in an outdoor volleyball league (as a first timer), played softball for the last two and a half summers, and am an avid basketball player (both league and pick-up ball). I like to run road races when I get a chance (I do the Butte to Butte here in Eugene every summer) , and will generally do anything I'm invited to do. I love to hike, and made several hikes of varying difficulty this last summer.
I'm not super big on video games, but I do have occasion to play (I get a real kick out of Guitar Hero and Rock Band). Not a car guy, but I do appreciate certain aspects of cars, sleek subtle
lines, power, performance, etc. I love to see car things live (I've volunteered at a couple of 'rally' style car races in the last 3 years).
I'm from the northwest, so I do fancy a good craft brew, and have been labeled as a snob. I've grown past the years of consuming just to consume (that is not to say that a night of tasting doesn't get extended...lol). I really like the complexity of the things I consume: chocolate, beer, coffee, sushi, wine...the list goes on.
I'm think I'm average looking (in a good way), as my attached picture should attest to. The stats? Before I forget, I'll drop that in. I'm 32, 6'1", 200lbs and have an average build. This is the most recent pic I could find that I like. It was taken this August in SFO, I was at a Giants game with my best bud.
I've been hesitant to date recently, and one reason is that I fear I'll be viewed as having no aspirations or maybe even motivation. In the last few months basically I turned my life upside-down. I quit a respectable job (pay-wise) I had in Beaverton and moved back here to
Eugene (Eugene being my hometown for the previous 23 years). Now I'm working a job that doesn't really look like much at this point. In Beaverton I was working far too much, not taking good care of myself, and not seeing my family enough. I decided to bounce it all to come back to Eugene and start over.
Whether its fortunate or unfortunate, I'm not motivated by money, I'd rather be happy. I've always thought though, that if someone wasn't interested in me because I wasn't interested in money, then so be it. I do get needing financial stability, don't get me wrong, I'm just walking a much thinner line than some folks are comfortable with.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Depression - When are you kidding yourself?
So, I was thinking today...no really, I was.
When a person is depressed, or feeling down, they are encouraged to 'perk up' or 'look on the bright side' and to stay positive. How does this really help but on the surface? It seems to me that a person might be just fooling themselves if they don't deal with their feelings.
I've been wondering if I'm depressed lately, and I'm not sure if I can really tell. I've had some things go on recently that brought me down, but they seem mostly superficial or small (bad basketball games, stupid things at work, believe it or not, the Ducks losing has affected me pretty big too).
I do know that I'm feeling behind the eight ball so to speak on what I considered my goals since I moved back to Eugene. I'm not volunteering like I wanted to, I'm not exercising like I want to be (I have lost 13lbs or so, which is good, and I feel healthy), and I don't have the job I want yet, but I'm not sure thats enough to bring me down. I've had a really positive attitude since I moved down, but also when I was up in Beaverton I learned how to stay positive through stress and adversity.
I've been really tired lately too, even though I've been sleeping well at night, and its harder to be more positive when you're so tired. Speaking of tired, I think I better get to sleep...lol. I'll think more about this tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day...
Usually these feelings come and go in waves, so I guess I'll keep trying to figure it out, and maybe it will pass on again (besides, I have a TOOL concert to go to next week, so I should be psyched!!!)..
Laters!!
When a person is depressed, or feeling down, they are encouraged to 'perk up' or 'look on the bright side' and to stay positive. How does this really help but on the surface? It seems to me that a person might be just fooling themselves if they don't deal with their feelings.
I've been wondering if I'm depressed lately, and I'm not sure if I can really tell. I've had some things go on recently that brought me down, but they seem mostly superficial or small (bad basketball games, stupid things at work, believe it or not, the Ducks losing has affected me pretty big too).
I do know that I'm feeling behind the eight ball so to speak on what I considered my goals since I moved back to Eugene. I'm not volunteering like I wanted to, I'm not exercising like I want to be (I have lost 13lbs or so, which is good, and I feel healthy), and I don't have the job I want yet, but I'm not sure thats enough to bring me down. I've had a really positive attitude since I moved down, but also when I was up in Beaverton I learned how to stay positive through stress and adversity.
I've been really tired lately too, even though I've been sleeping well at night, and its harder to be more positive when you're so tired. Speaking of tired, I think I better get to sleep...lol. I'll think more about this tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day...
Usually these feelings come and go in waves, so I guess I'll keep trying to figure it out, and maybe it will pass on again (besides, I have a TOOL concert to go to next week, so I should be psyched!!!)..
Laters!!
Weirdness...
So, I had this dream last night. I don't remember it all, pretty much just the theme and the person who was in it. Strange stuff.
Now, I have dreams about women and relationships as often as I have other dreams (you know, being a superhero, basketball star, and not so recently....the dreams that wake me up in the middle of the night terrified for no real reason, haven't had one of those since I moved back to Eugene). Normally the dreams are just generic good feelings about being in some sort of long term relationship, being happy, and I can usually tell if its someone I know, or just some mystery person.
This one was pretty specific with regards to the person and the fact that it was a serious, long term thing. Granted, she was exactly as I remember her when I dated her about 10 years ago, but how else would I remember her?
Normally I forget my dreams right after I wake up, but not today. I've been thinking about her all day, I can't tell you how intense the feeling is (not since I was actually last dating someone did I feel these types of emotions, and thats been quite a while). I haven't spoken to her since I was probably 25, maybe longer. She's definitely one of the women I dated that was a good one that 'got away'.
I've been totally preoccupied all day, and its driving me nuts. So nuts that I went online to search her out and see if I could find her. Of all places to find her, I'm pretty sure I found her on Myspace. She wasn't listed under her name, of course, but I read her profile up and down and am pretty sure its her. So, I sent her a message to be sure.
What do I expect to come from it? I'm not entirely sure, she appears to be in a relationship, which is ok. She appears to be pretty happy too, and thats good. I think I'll just settle down a bit and just get reacquainted with her, and go from there.
I do tend to go back and analyze things all the time, including past relationships, and I'm sure this is just a product of that, but it was still a pretty strange way to start and spend the day, and again it was odd that my feelings were so specific.
I've known for a little while now that I'm ok with the idea of a relationship, which is new. When I was in Beaverton it was difficult to even think about a relationship, but now I'm ok with it. I guess I could look at this as sort of a wake up call. Maybe I could actually function in a relationship, that would be an interesting proposition...
Now, I have dreams about women and relationships as often as I have other dreams (you know, being a superhero, basketball star, and not so recently....the dreams that wake me up in the middle of the night terrified for no real reason, haven't had one of those since I moved back to Eugene). Normally the dreams are just generic good feelings about being in some sort of long term relationship, being happy, and I can usually tell if its someone I know, or just some mystery person.
This one was pretty specific with regards to the person and the fact that it was a serious, long term thing. Granted, she was exactly as I remember her when I dated her about 10 years ago, but how else would I remember her?
Normally I forget my dreams right after I wake up, but not today. I've been thinking about her all day, I can't tell you how intense the feeling is (not since I was actually last dating someone did I feel these types of emotions, and thats been quite a while). I haven't spoken to her since I was probably 25, maybe longer. She's definitely one of the women I dated that was a good one that 'got away'.
I've been totally preoccupied all day, and its driving me nuts. So nuts that I went online to search her out and see if I could find her. Of all places to find her, I'm pretty sure I found her on Myspace. She wasn't listed under her name, of course, but I read her profile up and down and am pretty sure its her. So, I sent her a message to be sure.
What do I expect to come from it? I'm not entirely sure, she appears to be in a relationship, which is ok. She appears to be pretty happy too, and thats good. I think I'll just settle down a bit and just get reacquainted with her, and go from there.
I do tend to go back and analyze things all the time, including past relationships, and I'm sure this is just a product of that, but it was still a pretty strange way to start and spend the day, and again it was odd that my feelings were so specific.
I've known for a little while now that I'm ok with the idea of a relationship, which is new. When I was in Beaverton it was difficult to even think about a relationship, but now I'm ok with it. I guess I could look at this as sort of a wake up call. Maybe I could actually function in a relationship, that would be an interesting proposition...
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