Weirdness...

So, I had this dream last night. I don't remember it all, pretty much just the theme and the person who was in it. Strange stuff.

Now, I have dreams about women and relationships as often as I have other dreams (you know, being a superhero, basketball star, and not so recently....the dreams that wake me up in the middle of the night terrified for no real reason, haven't had one of those since I moved back to Eugene). Normally the dreams are just generic good feelings about being in some sort of long term relationship, being happy, and I can usually tell if its someone I know, or just some mystery person.

This one was pretty specific with regards to the person and the fact that it was a serious, long term thing. Granted, she was exactly as I remember her when I dated her about 10 years ago, but how else would I remember her?

Normally I forget my dreams right after I wake up, but not today. I've been thinking about her all day, I can't tell you how intense the feeling is (not since I was actually last dating someone did I feel these types of emotions, and thats been quite a while). I haven't spoken to her since I was probably 25, maybe longer. She's definitely one of the women I dated that was a good one that 'got away'.

I've been totally preoccupied all day, and its driving me nuts. So nuts that I went online to search her out and see if I could find her. Of all places to find her, I'm pretty sure I found her on Myspace. She wasn't listed under her name, of course, but I read her profile up and down and am pretty sure its her. So, I sent her a message to be sure.

What do I expect to come from it? I'm not entirely sure, she appears to be in a relationship, which is ok. She appears to be pretty happy too, and thats good. I think I'll just settle down a bit and just get reacquainted with her, and go from there.

I do tend to go back and analyze things all the time, including past relationships, and I'm sure this is just a product of that, but it was still a pretty strange way to start and spend the day, and again it was odd that my feelings were so specific.

I've known for a little while now that I'm ok with the idea of a relationship, which is new. When I was in Beaverton it was difficult to even think about a relationship, but now I'm ok with it. I guess I could look at this as sort of a wake up call. Maybe I could actually function in a relationship, that would be an interesting proposition...